My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
