The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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