Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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