As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
