mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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