So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
