Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
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I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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