but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
