Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
