I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
