Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
