I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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