soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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