Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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