ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
