Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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