She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
