I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
