D3 body, D1 cock
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
