found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How external is "for external use only"?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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