scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
