i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
