I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
