You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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