mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize