I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
