It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
