two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
