actually, I'm a sock model
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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