You're so nebulous sometimes
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
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OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
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If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.