Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!