I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?