Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?