Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
