What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
