So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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