Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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