Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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