There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
