How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
