sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We got so high we made milksteak
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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