he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
