Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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