Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
