I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
