I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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