So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
