my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
