I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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