Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
