pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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