Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
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I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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