Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
