woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
