Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
