The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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