She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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