I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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