I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just puked most of my soul out..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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