I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Come share oat with me in your robe
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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