I love black thongs
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
