so let's talk penis.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
