I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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