haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
